• When it comes to meeting men, sometimes we are our own worst enemy. When dating, save the group outings for a girl's night out. Traveling in a pack of 4 or 5 females is not going to invite men to approach you. Most black men are not intimidated, but few will approach a woman no matter how beautiful she is, if she is rolling six deep to a party or event. Stick to one girlfriend and be friendly. Every man who approaches you may not be your type or husband material, but it doesn't hurt to be cordial. He may be the friend of your future husband. Guys like to play matchmaker with their friends as well. The goal is to engage in conversation, you might be surprised at who you end up liking.
• Upon engaging in conversation, let him do the talking. Trust me once you get him, you can talk about you later and he'll listen. But initially, let him guide the conversation. If it's boring you to tears, then you can run.
• Avoid too much makeup, perfume and hair. Yes, hair. Let Beyonce do the big weaves, keep your look elegant but understated. Let him see the real you.
• Abide by the he asks, he pays rule. If you asked him out, offer to pay, but most men will take the check if they are enjoying your company and you won't every have to worry about it again. It's a roll of the dice but a gentleman will offer to pay.
• Don't hold his past against him. People make mistakes and everyone was young once. If he's had a few bumps in the road but treats you like a queen, work with him. No one is perfect and there are a lot of good people who've been shot down and gotten back up. Go off how he treats you and how you feel inside when he's around.
• Stop listening to your single girlfriends. Some of them will give you horrible advice. If you want relationship role models, look at your friends who are in successful relationships and learn from them.
• Keep your mama out of your business. And any other nosy family members too. Meddling from family is a quick relationship killer. I have seen many marriages end this way on account of too much meddling. The only time there should be a concern or intervention from family is if there is some violence or abuse that is happening to you. Otherwise, keep your relationship private.
• Trust God and let him guide you. But if you want to get a man be proactive. He will not find you sitting on your couch with a birthday cake and a tray of wings sitting in front of you. You have to go out and meet fate. And that means getting off the couch.
• Maintain a positive attitude and don't be a hater. We all know the relationship haters, you get in one and they act funny toward you and you have to cut them off. But don't be a relationship honer either, don't rub your new man in your friend's faces and start telling them how pathetic they are, not cool. Keep it real and pleasant.

Will and Carlton dance to Apache's "Jump On It! ]]>http://www.mahoganybutterfly.com/cms/templates/?z=0&a=3951 

• SCORE offers online business tools to assist you in business planning.

• SBA offers online business tools to help you start grow and succeed.

• Business Plan Pro software is easy to use, affordable and loaded with hundreds of templates which guide you in writing your business plan.

When you look at your competitors, you are analyzing:

• Who are your major competitors?

• What share of the market do they have?

• How do you compare to your competitors and how will they react to your entry into the
  market?

• What are their strengths and weaknesses (e.g. quality, price, service, payment terms, location, reputation, etc.)?

• What factors could increase or reduce your competition?

Put Personal Finances in Order

• Pay off your credit card debt. Charge it! We are so used to whipping out the credit card and buying ‘things’ that we don’t need or can’t afford. Consider paying off your credit cards and consolidating balances to the credit card with the lowest APR. You will breathe a sigh of release once you realize you ‘CAN’ live without the dreaded plastic. And, you can thank me later!

• Invest wisely. Having an investment plan is the key to long term success. There are a lot of options out there, so I suggest you speak with a financial advisor.

• Save for an emergency. With the economy being so weak, sometimes it takes every penny that comes in to make ends meet. You must get out of that mind set and start saving on a regular basis. Start small and increase as time goes on.

• Create a personal budget. A personal budget is extremely important in managing your household. In fact, your monthly budget will help you in determining how much you will save and invest! An informative book that I’ve read and suggest is by author John L. Macko: Budget Yes! 21st Century Solutions for Taking Control of Your Money Now!’

By following these steps, you will position yourself for a successful funding request.

• Join ‘Minority Women on the Rise’ on Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/sylviabrowder

• Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/sylviabrowder 

• Are you LinkedIn? I am and invite you to link with me: http://www.linkedin.com/in/sylviabrowder 

We had the rare opportunity to catch up with New York best selling author Zane to discuss her latest novel Total Eclipse of the Heart. Zane is the author of several erotic novels such as Addicted,  The Heat Seekers, The Sex Chronicles, Chocolate Flava, and Afterburn to name a few. She has a series on Cinemax called “Zane’s Sex Chronicles “ and a music group (The Zane Music Group) which will launch it’s first single by Kenny Lattimore in the near future.

Total Eclipse of the Heart is another groundbreaking yet intoxicating read from Zane. It offers a different view from the author on relationships, self esteem, and acceptance of one’s deficiencies. Zane was forthcoming and provided some concrete knowledge for women dealing with the challenges of dating and relationships in today’s world.

MaBu:  In your latest book, Total Eclipse of the Heart, what was the inspiration?

Zane: I wanted to write a love story that was not overshadowed by sex and delve deep into relationships, and how some people are shallow and become involved in toxic relationships. How they are just really wasting their time. People often focus on traits they want in a mate but not necessarily what they need.

MaBu:  In the book, Carleigh’s best girl Jordan is often found throwing herself at her best friend’s husband and has numerous failed relationships.  Her character’s sense of style and demeanor is described as sort of a hoochie. From your perspective how do women often become the typical “Jordan”?  Should her character be something for us to learn from?

Zane:  There are a bunch of women out here who are that way. They want something they cannot have. You have to watch your friends. I decided to flip the script. Usually it is the man who wants the trophy wife. This time Damon was the trophy husband whom all Carleigh’s friends desired. Carleigh was a very selfish person. I made Damon and Brooke’s lives parallel to the other. Damon struggled with his disability while Brooke struggled with her self-esteem.

MaBu:  The lack of honesty between men and women in relationships are addressed throughout the book. Why?

Zane:  People put on too many pretenses and try to keep it up, eventually that falters.  Often in relationships a person will accept somebody thinking they can change that person. A lot of people are married to complete strangers.  When people are incompatible, by the time they figure it out, they are already emotionally involved.

MaBu:  Children often learn about relationships from observing their parents. Patrick’s parents were experiencing some issues regarding infidelity. His behavior became more understandable after the situation between his parents in the limo with Brooke was exposed.  What did you want your readers to take away from Patrick’s character?

Zane:  Patrick’s behavior was normal to him because his father did it. He saw this in his parent’s marriage.

MaBu:  What is the first thing we can do as women of color to bridge the gap between men and ourselves when it comes to dating and relationships?

Zane:  Be honest about what you want, and accept nothing less. For example if you want a man that is a homebody, and you hook up with a drum player who plays in a band, you’re setting yourself up for failure. He’s going to be spending 3 to 4 times a week working until 3 am because he’ll have to play at different events. If you became involved with someone who instead worked a normal 9 to 5 and spent one night a week occasionally working late, you can compromise with him. But if the compromise is too high, and you have to change yourself, then they’re not for you. People have to be careful with who they get involved with. I don’t think people ask enough questions.

MaBu:  There were several references to ‘down low’ relationships between men in the novel. In particular the character Tony discusses ‘bug parties’ with Brooke. What exactly are bug parties and why did you include this in the novel?

Zane:  Bug parties are parties that men attend to intentionally try to catch HIV. There was a documentary done in the UK about this several years ago. I included this in the book because I wanted more people to know about it. Men and women need to get tested before they sleep with somebody. We don’t ask enough questions.

MaBu:  Zane, how do you feel about the media and the role they play in the African American community regarding dating and relationships?

Zane:  Media portrays it for a free for all. Commitment really doesn’t mean much. Not just black celebrities, but celebrities period. They have a lackadaisical attitude about relationships. Women have to go through a behavior modification. When animals are put into a certain environment they adapt. We are put into an environment our ancestors were not put in. We need a behavior modification.  We have to rethink the things done in the past if we want to be happy. Alter your thinking but do not compromise everything”.

Make sure you pick up Zane’s latest novel, Total Eclipse of the Heart available now. For more on Zane visit her website at www.eroticanoir.com.

Charice McCray is a personal finance writer and small business owner in Pennsylvania. Her articles regularly appear on several online media publications. She has worked at several reputable financial organizations. A former registered investment representative, she loves educating people on personal finance and how to save money for children. Visit her blog at http://www.longgreenforkids.blogspot.com to get tips on budgeting and saving for children.

Amy Dubois Barnett, author of “Get Yours: How to Have Everything You Ever Dreamed of and More", has this to say about making comparisons:

“What she’s got, that’s nice for her. But you, girlfriend, are unparalleled. Your life and your path are your own. Learn from others’ successes and failures, but do you.”

This quote always manages to encourage me when I feel down. It also helps me remember that I should think about my assets and what I have to offer instead of concerning myself with what others are doing.

So, how can we stop this habit?

• Become aware of what you’re doing. Comparing is usually done without you even really thinking about it. The solution? Watch out for those thoughts. If you’re on the lookout for them for a few days, they’ll be easier to recognize, and soon, it will be hard not to notice them.

• Stop. When you see that you’re comparing, take a moment, and realize what you're doing. Don’t criticize yourself or feel bad- simply recognize the thought and gently alter your concentration.

• Recognize your blessings. You’ll be much better off if you focus on the things you already have- shelter and food, the people in your life and the fact that you’re still breathing! 

• Focus on your skills and talent. That doesn’t mean boast and brag, but you should feel good about them and use them to your best advantage.

• Be okay with imperfection. Realize you aren’t perfect, and you never will be. Of course you should always strive for excellence, but don’t think you’ll be the “perfect person.” Your flaws make you you, so you’re already perfect.

• Don’t belittle others. At times, we criticize other people to make ourselves feel and look better. Doing this, however, is damaging and in the end, it hurts you, too. How about encouraging someone instead?

• Concentrate on your journey. Regardless of what society thinks and portrays, life isn’t a competition- it’s a journey, and you should only be concerned with yours.

• Embrace having enough. By wanting what the Jones’s have, you won’t see that you have everything you need. Realize that even if you only have the basics and people who love you, you are blessed.

Ever wonder why every winter along with the cold, wind and snow comes dry, ashy, scaly winter skin?  It seems if you use too much product on your skin it can become clogged which puts your skin at risk for acne breakouts. Or, if you don’t use enough product your skin becomes dry and itchy by the end of the day. Well no worries!  Here are some inside secrets on the best skin care products for winter skin, so you can have soft, flawless skin all winter long!

Philosophy Hope in a Jar

Price: $28 at www.philosophy.com

Get gentle exfoliating and lush moisturizing in one simple step. This non-oily facial moisturizer also gently exfoliates dry, dull winter skin, giving you a natural, healthy glow. It can even help treat sun-damaged skin! It’s so wonderful; Sephora chose it as a 2008 “Best of Sephora” product! I love how light and airy it is, and how quickly it absorbs into my skin.

Vaseline Lip Therapy

Price: $2 at www.drugstore.com  

No one is immune from dry lips in the winter!  There are so many choices for lip balms; some are sticky, greasy and scented. So to make sure your lips are moisturized all day we are going back to the basics: try Vaseline Lip Therapy, you will be sure to love this balm it keeps your lips moist even after it’s worn off.

Elizabeth Arden Eight-Hour Hand Cream

Price: $17 at www.elizabetharden.com

Your hands may be a hard hit during the winter months. Washing your hands frequently eliminates cold and flu germs but it also increases dryness. And unless your wearing gloves every time you go out your hand may be more exposed that any other part of your body. So give your hands some extra TLC with this Eight-hour hand cream. This fast absorbing gel cream will fight signs of dryness and cracking, hands look and feel soft and touchable.

Clarin’s One Step Exfoliating Gentle Cleanser

Price: $35 at www.sephora.com

To get the most of your moisturizer, you must exfoliate. Getting rid of dead skin cells allows your moisturizer to better penetrate the skin. This facial exfoliating scrub smells like citrus and is made with natural botanicals and it helps restore softness to the skin while removing dead flaky skin.

MAC Strobe Cream

Price: $29.50 at www.maccosmetics.com

The ultimate quick fix for your wintery dry or sleep deprived skin. This cream freshens and boosts the look of dull, flat or tired skin. Filled with vitamins and antioxidant rich green tea extract, giving you a healthy looking sheen all day long.

L’OCITANE Ultra Rich Body Cream Rich in Shea Butter

Price: $39 at www.sephora.com

Body Lotions come in combinations, and they work in so may different ways, such as healing dry skin, improving skins texture, nourishing and replenishing the loss if skin’s natural oils as well as restoring the radiance of the skin. During the winter it is best to choose a heavier lotion with Shea butter or an intensive ingredient, like L’OCCITANE Ultra Rich Body Cream this hydrating cream leaves your skin feeling soft and fully moisturized without that greasy feeling.

Now that you have all the ingredients for soft, glowing winter skin. Try one of these products or a combination of them so I can hear your thoughts. Or do you have a suggestion of one worth trying that I missed, let me know…

I made the mistake of having a doctor’s appointment scheduled prior to accepting one temp assignment.  When I told my supervisor, who was a black woman, that I needed to take a few hours off to go to the doctor, she agreed, and then called the temp agency to request another temp!  I received a call from the temp agency a few hours after I spoke to the employer letting me know it was my last day at that assignment.  In addition to the employer not having the decency to inform me, the temp agency encouraged me not to talk to my employers about anything you would traditionally talk to your boss about.  The agency told me to use them as the go between, therefore whatever I needed to convey to the employer should be done through the agency.

This is the beauty of temping from the employer perspective, the company you are assigned to never has to invest any time or benefits in you—no time off for sick leave or vacation, no payroll taxes, no energy to make sure you are a happy employee.  They don’t even have to address issues with you.  Their only responsibility is to pay the temp agency and in turn, the agency will supply them with a constant stream of workers regardless of the circumstance. This is the reason why the employer hired the temp agency, so their experience is less stressful.

Credentialing

So after you spend four years in college and a lot of money to get your degree, you would think that just having a degree would give you the leg up you need.  Unfortunately my work experience has taught me that where you got your degree is just as important.  Sadly enough, I have seen it time and time again with multiple employers.  On one of my first jobs out of college, the company was trying to either select interns or an entry level employee and would automatically put candidates that graduated from a school unknown to them, in this case primarily the HBCU’s, in the less qualified pool.  It wasn’t even a covert practice!  I have a very distinct memory of two employees trashing an applicant from a predominantly black school in my home state, solely based on the fact he or she went to that school!  It was at that point I realized the benefits of attending a white school.  For all the crap I had to endure at Penn State, the fact that I got a degree from there was looked very favorably upon, especially by white employers. 

This trend repeated itself at another job where a part time employee (a white woman) was being paid more money to do the same work as a full time employee (a black woman) because the white woman had a Harvard degree.  To this day I don’t understand how a part-time employee can be paid more money for doing the same work as the woman putting in a solid 40-hour week for the organization.  It doesn’t matter how high up the educational ladder you may have climbed, there are still employers ready to discount you because your school isn’t good enough for their tastes.  Even when you have graduated from an accredited university, don’t be surprised if your magnum laude is not worth as much as a C- average from Princeton.

Salary

Too often, employers pay what they think they can get away with instead of what your time and efforts or actually worth.  Too often the lowest paid employees do the most work for an organization!  Sadly this is a fact of life, but you can help yourself by being your own best advocate.  Be leery of taking a lower salary for “the cause” because that same organization might just be paying your counterpart more money for the same work.

As demonstrated in the credentialing example above, my experience has taught me that if an employer thinks they can successfully pay you less and you won’t catch wind of it or complain, your level of education, amount of work experience, or actual work hours have little to do with your salary.  That’s why so many companies frown on employees openly discussing salary.  The best thing to do for yourself in any work environment is to advocate for the salary you deserve from the beginning.  That way you have fewer regrets as time passes as well as a better basis for raises.

The salary conversation can be a tricky one.  Try to ask the employer what the range is for a position before they ask you for your salary requirements.  This is easier to do in an interview as opposed to an application that specifically requests salary information.  If you do have to fill out your salary requirements before you get to the interview, give a salary range, not a specific number.  For example, $60,000-$65,000, don't make the range too wide because it looks unrealistic.  Don’t make the mistake of starting out by giving the exact salary you are looking for because that salary could be much lower than what the company was willing to pay, but they will pay less if that was the request you made.  Asking the employer to give you their range will also allow you to decipher if you were expecting a salary that is much higher than the range of the position.  Even if an employer beats you to the punch in an in-person interview and asks what your salary requirements are, politely deflect and say, "Well what is the salary range for this position."  From this point on proceed as you see fit.

If the company has the resources or truly thinks you are the right person for the job, they are sometimes willing to go higher than their own stated salary range for a particular position.  It can and does happen, it just depends on the person conducting the interview and if they think you are worth the higher price. 

Favoritism

Favoritism happens everywhere.  It happens at home with your parents (because we all know they do have a favorite child), it happens in class with your teachers because they have favorite students, and it definitely happens in the workplace.  In the workplace favoritism manifests itself in a few different ways, and just like the favorite child or student, the favored employee gets special treatment.  All too often I have either witnessed or heard recounted tales of unqualified employees being hired or incompetent employees keeping their jobs or avoiding reprimand.  Favoritism is usually lurking behind the scenes.

Favoritism is most obvious when certain employees ‘get away with’ certain behaviors, like not doing their job well.  If you are well liked by the right people your errors and inadequacies are less glaring than someone’s who isn’t.  This type of favoritism doesn’t even have to come from a top down dynamic, and can be seen on a peer-to-peer level as well.  Jenny can come to work late everyday, no one ever questions it and the boss understands, but the day Robyn is 5-minutes late everyone notices, including the boss.  Workplace favoritism often feels like you are back in high school—very cliquish—or on Project Runway—you are in or you are out.  Either scenario defines the type of work experience you will have.

It does exist!  You might not think so from reading this article but you can find a happy work environment.  There is no such thing as the perfect work environment or even the perfect boss, but you can find a good, supportive work environment and a boss who respects you.

Sexy, soulful and cool. Common is one of the few not-so-common rappers out today, and he's a burgeoning movie star and political activist.

Date of birth: March 13, 1972
Profession: Rapper, Author, Poet, Actor
Awards won: Grammy Award for Best R&B Song, ... Hometown: Chicago, IL
Birthname: Lonnie Rashid Lynn, Jr.

Interesting: - Common is a vegan and supporter of PETA. - Has been linked to Erykah Badu, Taraji P. Henson, and currently, Serena Williams ]]>http://www.mahoganybutterfly.com/cms/templates/?z=0&a=3943 

Investing to increase your wealth for yourself and your children doesn’t have to begin and end with stocks, bonds and other related investments. Real estate also provides other investment possibilities. To foreclose on a home means preventing the borrower from cashing in on the property. Home prices have dropped drastically in many regions. This has caused a surge of bank-owned properties because there are less buyers showing up at the foreclosure sales. When this happens the bank becomes the owner of the property and retrieves the title. During these tough economic times, there are even more opportunities to look to the local bank within your area to inquire about bank-owned foreclosed offerings.

Determine the maximum amount you wish to spend. You need to know how much you are willing and able to spend on a specific property before meeting with the bank officer to take the next steps. Even though you can negotiate with the bank as to the price since their interest is to dispose of the property, the bank is still looking to make a profit.

Understand the process of how banks acquire property. According to Theodore J. Dallow, author of "How to buy foreclosed real estate for a fraction of its value," “the existing obligation was greater than the price the auction-attending public was willing to spend. That’s how it became an ORE (owned real estate)!” Since no individual made an offer to purchase the property, the bank became the property owner.

Consider your financing options for the purchase. Decide how you will be able to pay for the property once you purchase it and determine if bank financing is needed. To determine how much you need to put down, you have to decide how you will pay for the property, either through cash or bank financing. Review your credit worthiness. Be sure to obtain a copy of your credit report and score to make certain you qualify for bank financing if needed.

Start with the bank where your personal accounts are held. Ask the branch manager or the designated bank officer who handles the bank’s ORE (owned real estate) inventory. Make an appointment to meet with this individual or contact them to gather information on possibly purchasing a bank-owned/foreclosed property.

Review the local newspapers to check out the offerings. Banks often publish their foreclosed property offers in the local newspapers as frequently as weekly. Make an appointment to view and inspect the property with the bank officer handling the offering. Be sure to ask as many questions, as necessary, about the property. Some questions to ask are if any offers were made on the property and when you can have an inspector come out to view the home. Follow up with the officer regularly to keep abreast of any changes regarding the property.

Charice McCray is a personal finance writer and small business owner in Pennsylvania. Her articles regularly appear on several online media publications. She has worked at several reputable financial organizations. A former registered investment representative, she loves educating people on personal finance and how to save money for children. Visit her blog at http://www.longgreenforkids.blogspot.com to get tips on budgeting and saving for children.

But one in five black households don't have bank account at all, the study found. That percentage is seven times higher than white households. Still, members of the American Banker's Association insist federally insured banks are the safest place for your money.

Wash:

Dudu Osun Black Soap:

The ingredient list for this soap is as follows: Pure Honey, Shea Butter, Glycerine, Aloe Vera, Lime juice, lemon juice and water {the additives/preservatives are: Potassium Palm kernelate (foaming agent), Sodium Palm kernelate (saponified palm kernel oil) and fragrance}. The honey and glycerin act as humectants, lime/lemon juice are acidic, act as exfoliants and are the main ingredients to help fade the scars, aloe vera and shea butter are moisturizing agents. Despite that, this soap does strip your skin so be sure to follow with a good moisturizer. If you have broken skin, because of the lemon/lime, it will sting, so be forewarned!

Tone:

Dickinson’s Witch Hazel

This is a gently, non-drying, all natural toner that over time, will help fade those dark marks.

Moisturize:

100% Shea butter or cocoa butter; either of these will not only moisturize your skin, but will help fade the dark spots over time. You can purchase Palmer’s cocoa butter stick if you can’t get your hands on the raw, unrefined kind. A little bit goes a long way; you don’t need to break off a big piece to slather all over your face, just a tiny bit between your fingertips will provide the moisture you need. (Even if you’re oily, you’ll still need to moisturize!)

This regimen will work to fade any dark marks over time, so don’t expect overnight results! So, if you’re in the market for a natural way to fade dark spots, try using the above products. If you have sensitive skin, this should also work for you. As with any regimen, consistency is key to achieving the results you seek.

Yetunde Osakue-Allison, Senior Editor for MaBu, is an Afrocentric lady with various interests ranging from beauty to cooking and politics. If need be, she can be reached at yetunde@mahoganybutterfly.com

If you enjoy cooking, you more than likely know the basic tips on how to become a more efficient cook in the kitchen. However, these are some tips I have tried a few times to know that they work and thought to share:

1.      To avoid the curly syndrome when frying bacon, try dipping it in cold water first; pat off excess water before frying.

2.      If you have a hard time getting your lemons and limes to stay fresher longer, try filling a bowl halfway with water and add the lemons/limes to the bowl and store in the fridge. You’ll get a few weeks freshness with this.

3.      Add a pinch of salt to boiling eggs to prevent cracking; once boiled, transfer to a bowl of cold water to stop the cooking process.

4.      To get perfect poached eggs, try adding some vinegar to the water.

5.      To prevent bacon from sticking together in the packaging, try rolling it first before opening; this will separate the slices.

6.      If you have extra fresh herbs laying around the house, instead of discarding them for worry they might lose freshness, make some herbed butter. All you need is to chop your herbs and mix with some butter. Serve with steaks or on French bread/baguettes or even use to sauté chicken or fresh vegetables. You could store in a bowl or use some cling film and pat the herbed butter into a log and store in the fridge.

7.      If you’re cooking beans or tough meats, cut some fresh garlic into it and this will shorten the boiling time.

8.      Make your own homemade fat-free stock by chilling it first. This way the fat rises to the top and solidifies; you can then remove this before cooking with the stock/broth.

9.      Adding a pinch or two of baking soda will make your mashed potatoes much fluffier.

10.  Avoid crowding when frying; over-crowding causes the food to end up soggy.

If you have any more tips, please feel free to share.

Enjoy…

Yetunde Osakue-Allison, Senior Editor for MaBu, is an Afrocentric lady with various interests ranging from beauty to cooking and politics. If need be, she can be reached at yetunde@mahoganybutterfly.com

By the time Precious’ main character, Claireece Precious Jones, a black, poverty-stricken, uneducated, sixteen year old victim of incest and mother of two gave this forthright articulation of her understanding of the word “love,” I’d already mentally placed the film in the same sphere as Ntozake Shange’s “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf.” Anyone who’s ever engaged me in any conversation about black womanhood knows my everlasting love of Shange’s groundbreaking choreopoem and frequent returns to it for inspiration/guidance as I continue my stop-and-go progress toward “the end of my own personal rainbow.”

I sat down in the theater to watch Precious, expecting to see black female suffering on full display. While the film received a great deal of positive praise in mainstream media over the last few weeks, the blogs I tend to frequent gave mixed, but mostly negative reviews. From referring to the film’s fictional representation of black life in a Harlem ghetto as borderline “poverty porn” to deconstructing skin color politics as played out in Precious’ relationship with her light-complexioned black teacher (played by Paula Patton), some of my favorite bloggers went to task on Precious this week and last. I’d read endless accounts of and expected to see revolting incestuous rape scenes, enough abuse to make even Celie shudder, and of course, the scene so heavily analyzed and talked about, a main character steal and consume  a bucket of deep fried chicken in an act “reminiscent enough of popular 19th and early 20th century racist imagery” to make the hairs on the neck of any serious black social critic stand straight up.

I took deep breaths before the previews even began, hurriedly finishing my small popcorn and coke in preparation for the horror, the grit, the purely ruthless, unapologetic, two-hour experience of black womanhood abused, stripped bare, and opened for the voyeuristic consumption of myself and fellow audience members. I just knew watching Precious was going to be painful for me, something I’d have to do just once in order to get the jarring reminder of the abuses still suffered by my sisters today. After all, that’s what many other black bloggers seemed to be doing. Comparing the film to Rosewood, Antwone Fisher, and A Time To Kill, many described it as a film blacks were obligated to see, but only once, as its potential to depress is just too high. Precious is just, according to some, another name to add to the long list of films capitalizing on America’s fascination with black suffering.

Fifteen minutes into the film and I found myself still on edge, waiting to see this grotesque, beaten down, image of a black woman without agency, voice, or depth. All of the symptoms were there. A black female body loaded down with all of the emotional, psychological and physical abuses whites and black male producers could project upon it. How could Precious not suffocate under the weight of such awful circumstances? Why did I not see a silenced black girl on-screen as I sat in the theater? Something about Precious places it slightly off-center.

I want to hate Precious. I really do. The draft of this blog entry was written three days ago, and since then, I’ve lost count of the number of reviews I’ve read of the film. As an “artsy/moody/self-aware type,” as one black female blogger put it, how can I possibly like Precious? The film is just so damn typical.

In steps Director Lee Daniels, a black independent filmmaker, onto the Hollywood scene. He’s created a filmic representation of a black female character from a controversial book and a disgusting fictional Harlem landscape on which to play out this story of a human body at the brink of emotional and physical death. Bloggers and critics itching to formulate analogies between it and other black “poverty porn” don’t need to watch more than fifteen minutes beyond the opening credits before beginning to pencil down accounts of the film’s unapologetic roughness, over-exaggerated colorism and representation of black self-hate. Liberal viewers and mainstream media film critics likewise can sit with their hearts open, taking in the “grittiness” of Precious’ images, allowing the film to polish their moral compasses and set them even more firmly on their paths to bring about “racial and class reconciliation” in this country. The Bell Hooks-influenced womanist in me wants to scream “Foul!,” but I can’t.

Something about Precious’ voice prevents me from throwing the film away altogether and I haven’t worked my way through what it is exactly. Precious opens with letters scribbled on the screen in what looks like red ink. These letters form words unfamiliar to me. Seconds later they’re translated into standard english in a recognizable, neat font. Over the purely fascinating visual experience that is reading her raw, unedited affirmations of who she is, Precious’ voice sounds. It’s not harsh, not angry, there is no quivering or sadness. She introduces herself, Claireece Precious Jones, and talks candidly about her dream of becoming a famous celebrity. Never opening her mouth to crack a smile nor showing any expression of shock, extreme anger, any expected emotion, Precious’ character confuses and entraps me at the same time. This black female character sits in a world so bizarre, so unfamiliar and nauseatingly corrupt to me, yet she floats in limbo somewhere between what I and I’m sure many others expect her to be. She’s neither the purely-aggressive, reactionary, “I’m gonna grind to make it in this cold world,” heroine nor the passive, beaten-down woman carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders with humility and learned-timidity. While Precious shows tinges of both of these characters, she brings a complexity that demands attention and  makes her character deserving of more focused analysis.

I want someone to spare a little time to get to the heart of this voice attempting to articulate black womanhood, even through the filter of a male director’s lens and a multi-billion dollar industry. To me, the most audacious act of Daniels in this film’s creation was the attempt to center a black female voice. “I made this movie for my girls. People read so much into ‘Precious.’ But at the end, it’s just this girl, and she’s trying to live. I know this chick. You know her. But we just choose not to know her,” Daniels said to a NYT reporter back in October.  So why is there so little focus on this character’s articulations of self? From sharing her deepest insecurities in the daydream sequences (‘I wish I had a light-skinned boyfriend’) to her gentle sparing sessions with the men and women she encounters, one of the best sequences being her interview session with Mariah Carey’s character in which Precious teases Carey (‘I see vampires. They come through the floor.’), Precious refuses to be boxed in by her circumstances. She’s scarred, but not defeated; bold, outspoken and independent, yet still wanting of love and nurturing (‘love beat me down, made me feel worthless’). Gabourey Sidibe as Precious dances around strict definition as I believe most black girls, or  ’precious’ girls do.

Where Precious triumphs is in its attempt to tackle and display the beautiful, sometimes unnerving contradictions that are naturally part of the makeup of humanity. Claireece Precious Jones does not make sense and she never once apologizes for it. What touches me, what makes this film so powerful, is the resiliency of her voice. Precious confidently carries audiences through the landscape that created her. Every moment in the film lends to Precious’ character and voice, from her daydreams about living a rockstar lifestyle to moments such as that in her principal’s office when she flatly answers, “I had sex,” when asked how she managed to become pregnant with another child at sixteen. She constantly reflects on the happenings around her, allowing readers insight into the workings of her mind and the most intimate moments in the process of her finding freedom. Precious’ character could easily be represented as living a dark, one-dimensional life. In the film, however, the voice of this black female character articulates a colorful womanhood, a celebration of overcoming and hope for self-betterment and empowerment.

I leave this entry open in hopes that you will respond with either your opinions of the film or general reflections on representations of black women in film, the act of sharing stories and interpretations of black womanhood, or whatever else is on your mind in the comments section…..

D. Brown is a first-year Teach for America Corps member in Louisiana. A graduate of Wellesley College in Wellesley, Massachusetts, she enjoys studying 19th century African-American history, blogging, travel, and watching films. Webpage: swellsgirl09.wordpress.com

Ladies, as we enter 2010, I want to remind us of something important.  We don't have to define ourselves by whether or not we have a man.  Wrapping ourselves up in a man is not all there is to life.  It's a shame, but I witness beautiful sistahs chasing everything that wears trousers, turning over every rock, running around every bush, and shaking every tree just to hit the 'man jackpot'—and hit it, of course, before our girlfriends, and cousins do.

Some of us are desperately trying to find what a woman's really not meant to look for in the first place.  (reference Proverbs 18:22).  Even at that, man was not designed to be our everything.  We are to enhance one anothers’ lives.   Many poor unsuspecting men are being caught unawares by a bold and beautiful sistah trying to mack on, ugh, catch , um entice, well, ‘befriend’ him.  Often men find themselves bombarded with an over-abundance of bountiful breastasees and bodacious bootys in tight, clingy, curve revealing outfits winking, smiling, flirting, and downright macking.  It used to be the man’s job to get a sistahs attention.  Nowadays women are jumping through hoops on fire hoping just to be able to give out her phone number.  There’s no doubt, women want a real live boyfriend/boo/fiancé/husband/lover/baby daddy--and often a sistah wants him by means unnecessary.

If you are looking to be found, my best advice is this:   Pray on it AND wait to hear from God.  It's really just that simple.  God's in the blessing business and He desires to bless you with a partner.  Invite God to be your Husband until He sends your earthly husband. Love on Him and give Him the worship, honor and praise that is due Him.  He will give you peace, calm your fears, open doors for you and pour out blessings that you won't have room to receive. He will help you prepare for the man He sends you. 

While you wait, don’t just sit idle--work on getting yourself together.  You know… lose a few pounds, go back to school, take dance lessons, straighten your teeth, whatever.  Also, work on improving your finances and relationships with others.   So pray, wait, and work-- and then get involved. Get busy in your local church. Volunteer in your community. Get a social life-- go out to dinner, and get together with family and friends. Because God won't 'magically' place a man at your doorstep or drop a man in your lap, but you might meet someone interesting at the mall, or while in line at the dry cleaners, or while out to dinner.  Get the point? Be found working, being social and living life to the fullest! 

And the last piece of advice is to take good care of you—maintain your health.  Get regular physical check-ups and dental appointments.  You know the drill—exercise, eat right, drink plenty of water, and get proper rest.  And take care of yourself spiritually, too.  Attend church regularly.   Work on your communication skills and keeping up with local and world events as well.  There’s nothing more attractive than someone who is beautiful inside as well as outside.  And speaking of the outside, ALWAYS dress nicely and maybe put on a little make-up… yes.  Even when going to the grocery store or pumping gas.   Keep hair appointments, get your nails and your toes did, and wax any unwanted hair because in taking proper care of yourself, you will find that you’ll possess a healthy dose of self-esteem. Remember, you’ve got to love and respect yourself before anyone else will.   Loving yourself and living life to the fullest all works together in attracting a like-minded brother.  He can’t help but find that you are beautiful and intriguing.  

Well, that’s it for now.   I wish you well on your journey to love yourself and be found by your future mate.

Toyota Commercial - cute kid

Hospital Commercial: He kicked him in the "penith"
]]>http://www.mahoganybutterfly.com/cms/templates/?z=0&a=3928The Wire, in which case this week's rewind is not really of interest to you!

For those of us who were fans of HBO's series The Wire, here is a montage of 100 quotes from all 5 seasons of the series... ]]>http://www.mahoganybutterfly.com/cms/templates/?z=0&a=3922

Birthday: July 20, 1973
Birthplace : Brooklyn, New York
Recent Role : Dr. Eric Foreman on House (Fox)
Birth Name : Omar Hashim Epps
Height : 5' 10½" (1.79 m)
Status: Married

Another one we'll have to crush-on from a distance ladies! Omar is married (to Keisha Spivey, of the R&B group Total) with three children (two with Keisha and one from a previous relationship). Omar is most famous for his movies including Juice, Higher Learning, Love and Basketball, In Too Deep, and The Wood. He had a small role in Scream 2 and was a recurring character (Dr. Dennis Gant) on the US drama series ER.

Since 2004, he has played the role of Dr. Eric Foreman on the  medical drama House.

1. Watch the best break up movie ever, The Break up with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston. Then watch a funny movie like The Hangover and end your DVD watching party with the complete season of Sex and City. Oh yeah make sure to have some ‘healthy’ munchies handy and perhaps a glass of wine, just one ladies.

2. Surround yourself with friends and family. Host a get-together. Entertaining keeps your mind busy, and being around those who love you reminds you that you are never alone and who those individuals are that have true love for you.

3. Pamper yourself. This is the perfect time to get that new haircut, visit the nail salon for another refill and a footsy rub down. After a session of eyebrow waxing, hand massaging, nail painting, and foot embellishing head over to grab yourself a nice bottle of your favorite bath oil, body wash or shower gel from Bath and Body Works or Victoria Secrets. What’s even better is both stores are having a major sale going on right now since their semi-annual sales are happening. Finish your long day with a few candles, some hot tea and a warm bubble bath with the products you purchased earlier in the day.

4. Spruce up your digs. Add a new painting to a wall. Buy yourself some fresh flowers and place them on the mantle, coffee table, or dining room table. Rearrange a few things here and there. Place a few accessories around. A new vibrant environment mood will help boost your spirits. Check a feng shui book out of the library for reference.

5. Grab your girls and go mingle or join a group on meetup.com within your area. Attend an event like a concert or opening. Another thing, there is nothing wrong with hitting up a movie by your lonesome. Pick up some snacks and candy, take your hobo bag along and go see that movie you’ve been planning on.

6. Volunteer. This can be satisfying and helping someone in need. Hype up your favorite charity and encourage others to participate by donating or dedicating some of their time.

7. Take a yoga class or meditate at home in a quiet place in your home. If you do not have a quiet space dedicated to your spiritual endeavors, create one. Purchase a water fountain, a few candles, and a floor pillow or mat.

8. Channel your emotions. If you love to sing, write and blog, create crafts and art then get to it. Use your creative energies to make something beautiful and memorable.

9. Acquire an extra skill. Inquire with your local community college or other organization to look into classes you can take to further your education and qualifications.
    

10. Cry, scream, shout and cry some more. There is no sense in holding all of your emotions inside. The moment you begin to let go and express the pain, the moment you begin the healing process.

On Def Comedy Jam (with intro from Martin)

Hosting the Image Awards

]]>http://www.mahoganybutterfly.com/cms/templates/?z=0&a=3916

4. Try trial sizes.  Interested in trying something new?  Before buying a full size of that new shower gel, or one of the hundreds of new fabric softners with the wonderful sounding scents, see if you can purchase a trial size first. Even better, call or e-mail the company to see if they'll send you a sample for free.  It's better than being stuck with a full size of something that's supposed to smell of morning rain, but instead makes you feel like you've got morning sickness.

Major women’s magazines are telling us "out with the old and in with the new"; that we need major overhaul because it’s a new year. Maybe it is a new year, but do you really want a new you? I maintain that last year’s model is pretty darn good, though a little tune-up may get my motor purring like new.

Sure, I could shop till I drop for a new wardrobe, cut, color and change my hair, or plunk down the equivalent of a down payment on a two-seater foreign import to a plastic surgeon, but I think that’s pretty extreme. My hair is in great condition – nothing that a flat iron, comb and brush won’t cure. And as far as that plastic surgeon is concerned – I’d rather have the two-seater. So with that in mind, I’ll take care of my own maintenance.

You may want to do the same. Take time to consider where you may need maintenance. My tune-up is focusing on two main areas – above the shoulders and below the shoulders. I’ve got to conquer the jiggle factor. My neck is starting to get that jiggly turkey thing. I have examined it from every angle in the mirror and the jiggle has to go. I’m sure it’s only obvious to me and my high powered mirror with 10X magnification, but nonetheless, it’s there.

Second area of jiggle concern– thighs. I won’t even get into that scenario. But, if I use my gym membership in conjunction with some miracle jiggle stopper stuff, summer swimsuit shape is a possibility. Since I am a bit obsessed with magic potions, aka beauty products, I have decided to apply my preoccupation with eye creams to conquering the dreaded neck and thigh jiggle.

Here is my list of anti-jiggle stuff that I’m trying for the next 3 months:

For my neck:

Dr. Brandt Time Arrest Laser Tight $85

The Claim:

* firms, lifts & tightens skin

* helps prevent sagging

* hydrates and adds fullness to the skin

* recaptures a youthful appearance

Strivectin Neck Cream $90

The Claim:

The delicate skin of the neck and décolletage can really reveal your age. So, why not keep them guessing with this neck-nurturing treatment packed with all the lifting, shaping and refining benefits you’d expect from StriVectin. Now you can say ta-ta to “turkey neck” once and for all.

For my thighs:

Bliss Serious Seaweed Cellulite Soap $38 for 3

The Claim:

Not only will the seaweed base (and bumpy face) stimulate anti-cellulite lymphatic action, the thought that you've spent time rubbing it, will hopefully keep your will-power from 'flubbing it'.

Bliss The Slim City Set $75

The Claim:

With the pro-strength slimming ingredients of our most famous firmer and her muffin-top-targeting 'middle' sister, and the massage merits of our slimulator, this trio adds up to one irresistable menage-a-spa.

Includes:

• bliss love handler: wages war on not-so-hard ‘core’ areas by unleashing extended release caffeine to help whittle the appearance of wiggly waists and pudgy tummies.

• bliss fatgirlslim: a lean, mean circulation stimulating slimming cream with caffeine encapsulated in QuSomes™ for all over body shaping.

• bliss slimulator: wakes up surface circulation, moving fat-trapping fluids out of thick thighs.

• a Bliss blue tote

So that’s my tune up for 2010. Nothing too major, just adding one daily treatment to my facial routine, a weekly mask to work on the neck area, and a soap and body cream for the thigh jiggle. That doesn’t seem too daunting and I think I can stick to it. Oh yes, my supplements for inner beauty. And my Ginko Biloba to help me remember to take the supplements.

And when all else fails, I have every style of Spanx on standby.

What’s your tune up going to be for 2010? Do you have concerns that need the attention of a beauty mechanic? Let us know! All feedback is welcome.

Why short change yourself with a step that can add value to your personal appearance and your professional reception? I encourage my clients to apply the multi-tasking skills they have acquired as working mothers or wives to their makeup and skin care routines. Just as you have perfected your “pitch” or professional introduction, you can also perfect your “5 minute face” and your three minute skin care routine. Is it worth it? Yes it is. I have dozens of clients who have adopted this simplified plan that has led them to a perfected, polished professional appearance attest to it’s worth.

Skincare 101 – Three easy steps

Whether you use mass market skincare products or a prestige line, three steps give you glowing skin that serves as the ideal canvas for your makeup application.

Morning:

1. Use a Ph balanced cleanser. This eliminates the need for toner. Lotion cleansers work for all skins, whereas gel’s sometimes provide that “squeaky clean” feel for oily to acneic skins.

2. Use a moisturizer with an SPF of at least 15. This is multi-tasking at its best as you are adding in the most basic anti-aging step to your routine – sun protection. If you have other skincare concerns, look for the appropriate additions to your moisturizers.

   • Oily skin – Oil free

   • Acne prone – Anti-bacterials like salicylic acid

   • Hyperpigmentation – Vitamin c, retinol (vitamin a), or hydroquinone

   • Wrinkles – Vitamin C, retinol (vitamin a), Co Q10, copper, peptides

3. Eye cream or gel
   

Skin Care Brands I recommend:

Rx for Brown Skin

Black Opal

DDF

Dr. Brandt

4. Apply a primer as in preparation for makeup application.

A word about primer: Primers are the ultimate multi-taskers. They seal in your skin care products, so your moisturizer does not evaporate. They resurface your skin, so your texture is improved – pores made imperceptible and uneven texture eliminated. However, for your professional face, primer enables you to have makeup that endures the day, you need less foundation and it looks flawless.

Brands I recommend:

Illamasqua

Vapour Organic Beauty

Smashbox Light for Oilier complexions

Note: For women of color with nearly perfect skin, bypass foundation and used a tinted primer. Laura Geller and Smashbox both have a bronze primer that is gorgeous on brown skin.

At night:

1. Try a makeup towelette. (if your are lazy like me) I love Olay Definity makeup remover towelettes. They are large, durable and do an excellent job of removing all makeup including eye makeup. A pack of 30 is around $6. For added assistance with eye makeup removal, try Olay Eye Makeup remover. It’s creamy, does not sting and multi-tasks by leaving behind peptides to firm up the eye area! Around $8 in drugstores.

2. Use a moisturizer that includes your treatment. See morning routine for appropriate additions.

3. Eye cream.

These steps take me two minutes max, but if you are just starting, they may take a minute longer. Your lengthiest step should be cleansing.

If you have other skincare concerns, you may need to add in an additional step for treatment.

Makeup 101

Your first step is to streamline your daily makeup kit to only the necessities. Get rid of that blue glitter eyeliner and purple eyeshadow. Only keep the necessities. Just as you have your professional wardrobe in your closet organized, you should also have your makeup wardrobe organized. Here are your steps to your “5 minute face”:

1. Even

Apply foundation or tinted moisturizer over entire face, including under your eyes. This should only take a few seconds. Start under the eyes and blend out toward the jaw. If you wear bangs, forget your forehead. The main area to cover is the triangle from your eyes, to cheeks to chin. That’s where people focus their eyes when looking at you. Do not extend foundation to the jaw; instead be sure your foundation disappears before it gets to your jaw line. No lines of demarcation!

Tinted moisturizers are ideal for skin over 35 that has lost is luster. The give back that dewy youthful look. They are my favorite triple-duty products – color, moisture, SPF and sometimes illuminators.

Brands that multi-task:

Smashbox High Definition Foundation – medium coverage

Vapour Organic Beauty Atmosphere Luminous Foundation—sheer coverage

Black Opal Flawless Match Foundation -- light to medium coverage

Iman Second to None Cream to Powder Foundation—complete coverage

Bobbi Brown Gel Bronzer—sheer coverage

Illamasqua Rich Liquid Foundation (complete coverage)

2. Conceal

Apply concealer to the inner most area of the eye – on the bridge of the nose. Pat to blend. Do not rub your concealer away. Choose a color your skin tone, not lighter. By applying concealer in the inner eye area, your are in effect creating an optical illusion – light will be attracted to that lightened area and focus will be removed from darker areas under the eye. Feather out under the eye. Use the remaining concealer on your finger, brush or sponge on your eyelid and the corner of your eye.

Brands that work:

Christopher Drummond Beauty

Black Opal Fade and Conceal

Make Up For Ever Full Cover (also works for blemishes and scars)

3. Blush up

Too many women, particularly women of color skip this step. Blush gives definition to your face, lifts, brightens your eyes and gives life to your complexion. Use a blush with a hint of shimmer (not glitter) that serves as light reflectors, giving your skin an amazing glow. Trust me on this one.

Colors that work for everyone:

NARS – Lovejoy, shimmering bronzed rose

Illamasqua: Panic, cherry red. A touch will do.

Smashbox: Gingersnap, soft terra cotta

Black Radiance Mosaic Bronzer: Golden or Bronzing

4. Define Eyes

Invest in a palette of brown/bronze colors for everyday use. Whether Revlon or Bobbi Brown, a palette of at least three colors – light, medium and dark – will become your favorite go to, like an indispensable black pencil skirt. A double ended brush with a fluff end and a blunt angled edge is your tool of choice.

1. Cover entire lid with medium color.

2. Apply highlight to brow bone.

3. Use darkest color as liner. For more dramatic liner, wet your color with Visine to convert it to liquid liner.

4. Use either dark or medium color as brow color.

5. Apply mascara. Leave waterproof for weddings – it will kill your lashes. My brand of choice: L’Oreal Voluminous. I LOVE this mascara. $7.99 at drugstores, but often on sale with a BOGO.

When you have this routine down, you can venture out with other palettes – smokes, blues, greens.

5. Lips

You need four items for your lips arsenal. Lip balm, nude lipstick, nude lipgloss and a red or berry lipstick.

This makeup application may seem like too much to do, but it only takes minutes. My routine takes me 2-3 minutes. You can with practice perfect your “5 minute face”! If you would like to see a video of this application, or have further questions, please feel free to email me or visit my blog.

So don’t neglect your professional appearance. Trade time with television or internet surfing and give it to yourself. That added bit of polish may be just the step to take you to the next level in your career.

]]>http://www.mahoganybutterfly.com/cms/templates/?z=0&a=3912

In 2009, I set a personal goal of bringing more positivity to my life and decided to make it my 2010 goal too!  Despite the stressors life threw my way, I felt like having the armor of a positive mindset helped me a lot in 2009 because I was able to stay more grounded in turbulent times.  I am a believer in some of the concepts behind the ‘you get back what you give out’ adage and although I don’t believe that to be true in every circumstance, for the most part that idea resonates with me.  Not only will the type of energy you put into this world will come back to you, the perspective you take on your own life will guide the type of life you have as well as the way you interact with the people in your life.  If that perspective is a positive one, you will be a happier person and happier people just live better lives.

Learning to ‘let go of doing’ was my step one on the path to positivity.  By nature, I am a planner.  I plan things and I plan them well so oftentimes a lot of people around me expect me to be the planner of all things great and small.  A few years ago, I decided to change that.  I figured it would be nice if I didn’t have to plan everything all the time and made a conscious decision to relax and let others take the lead.  That was difficult for me because it also meant I could not complain if things weren’t done to my standards or liking!  People still expect me to be the planner but I have learned to say no and only plan the things I haven choosen to.  Not doing turned out to be just what I needed to be a little more positive and a little happier.

“When you relinquish the desire to control your future you obtain happiness.”  That is one of my favorite quotes from a source unknown.  My step two towards positivity was learning to let go of my desire to control things, especially when I had no control over them.  After I got used to truly being ok not actively planning things I knew I could, it was easier for me to let go of being unable to plan for things I couldn’t control.  Letting go of the desire to control the uncontrollable was one of the hardest but most important of my steps towards a more positive me.

Overall, learning to let go made me a happier person because it enabled me to stop beating myself up over mistakes.  Now when I mess up I make a note of it and move on.  Self-forgiveness has been one of my biggest life lessons that opened the door to self-acceptance and self-acceptance is a blessing.  There really is no sense in crying over spilled milk, beating myself up won’t put the milk back in the carton, and I can’t drink it off the floor so all ‘could have, should have, would have’ offer are big headaches and unnecessary feelings of inadequacy, which detract from the path to positivity. 

Step three of a more positive me was affirmations.  I started visibly posting positive affirmations around my house and office and made my mantra, “everything happens for a reason.”  Even when I don’t understand the reason at the time, I remember that things eventually work out for the best.  The affirmations and the mantra are what keep me grounded and stop me from feeling bad or sad about certain situations.  If a relationship ends, even if it is unexpectedly, it is because it ran its course and was meant to be over.  Something better is on the horizon that may have been obstructed by that relationship.  Everything happens for a reason.  If I didn’t get a job I thought I was perfect for, maybe I was just saved a lot of future heartache.  Stressing about things and being bitter won’t help the situation or my growth and development as a person, but continuing to affirm the positive will.

Surrounding myself by positive, supportive people continues to be essential in my quest for positivity, and is thus far my final step in the process.  It is very easy for me to have a “woe is me” mentality so getting help from friends, family, significant others, or co-workers is completely unnecessary.  Negativity doesn’t need any help to prosper so I try to limit my contact with negative people as much as possible and avoid them altogether if I can.  This can be very difficult if you have to work with negative people or have negative people in your family.  Since I’ve learned that moderation is key, I’ve also learned that keeping exposure to negative people to a minimum is also key.  When dealing with family, I remember that distance often makes the heart grow founder and that not being under them 24/7 doesn’t mean I love them any less, just that I have no desire to have anyone else’s negative energy affect me.  

Life is a series of learning and growing experiences that is way too short to use for anything other than what makes me happy!  I keep that thought at the forefront of my mind and know that in order for me to be happy, there can be no room for anything but the positive.  I for one intend to have a wonderfully positive 2010.  I hope you intend do the same!

It’s that time of year again. After all of the gift buying, cooking, and decorating, the old bills still have to be paid and the new ones from the holidays are creeping along. A great way to pay down some of those bills and possibly put a small emergency stash together is with a temporary census taker job.

The U.S. Census bureau is looking to hire temporary part time census takers this spring. The pay is attractive and the hours are flexible. The job involves visiting residents within your local area and conducting interviews, recording the information provided, and completing necessary forms.

Call the census office within your area to arrange an appointment to take the employment test. You may also download and print the application online. Take your completed application along with your proper (current) identification such as a drivers license, state issued identification, U.S. passport, or voter’s registration and your I-9 form with you when you go to take the employment test.

The posibility of getting hired really depends on your location, the opportunities in your local area, and your final test scores.Visit http://2010.census.gov/2010censusjobs/how-to-apply/ to get more information. Also check out http://www.census.gov/field/www/ to browse other U.S. Census bureau jobs.

Charice McCray is a personal finance writer and small business owner in Pennsylvania. Her articles regularly appear on several online media publications. She has worked at several reputable financial organizations. A former registered investment representative, she loves educating people on personal finance and how to save money for children. Visit her blog at http://www.longgreenforkids.blogspot.com to get tips on budgeting and saving for children.

"That's why I knew that I needed to profile the stories of real women who were experiencing rapid success but who weren't necessarily so uberfamous or intimidating that their achievements felt unattainable." Debra Shigley

Z-Palette ($14-$20), also known as the ‘Ultimate Customizable Makeup Palette,’ is an empty magnetized palette which allows you to fit in refillable makeup from different brands.

Once you start to amass a good amount of makeup, at some point, it becomes necessary to have a better organization system and most of the time, this involves buying palettes in which to depot and store your makeup. While this in itself is not necessarily too much of a hassle, Z-Palette was created to eliminate the need of buying palettes from individual brands as the palette is designed to hold refillable compacts from as many brands as you have.

The Z-Palette comes in two sizes; small ($14) and large ($20). The small size can hold 9 MAC eye shadows or 2 MAC blushes, while the large palette can hold 27 eye shadows or 8 MAC blushes. The small palette comes only in black, but the large palette comes in a zebra pattern, black and pink.

You also get to save money by buying your makeup as refills instead of with the packaging, not to mention, it’s green and good for the environment! For instance, MAC eye shadows with the packaging costs $14.50, while the refill costs $11, so that’s a savings of $3.50 which adds up over the time with the more shadows you buy.

This palette, designed by a makeup artist, has a clear top so you don’t even have to open it to know what makeup you have inside. It already has a magnetic bottom, so all you have to do is pop your makeup into it and you’re good to go.

Do you have eye shadows still in their packaging and not sure how to depot them? The Z-Palette website makes it easy for you and has a page dedicated to depotting tips. She’s also broken it down by brands so you know which cosmetic companies sell refillable makeup.

Interested? Purchase online or click here for a list of stores.

Yetunde Osakue-Allison, Senior Editor for MaBu, is an Afrocentric lady with various interests ranging from beauty to cooking and politics. If need be, she can be reached at yetunde@mahoganybutterfly.com

Consider the costs. Determine how much you are willing to spend. Costs for the website could include monthly charges, an annual fee or a lump-sum payment. Expect to make a deposit if you are making a large lump-sum payment.

Sketch out your vision on paper first. Determine the look you are going for. Consider the placement of the pictures of your products or services. Figure the message you want to relay to your customers. Select the colors, text, graphics, and overall style you have in mind. You need to be certain your website is attractive to your existing customers and prospects.

Compare website builders. Do your homework and shop around. Determine what type of website builder you are interested in. Decide if you want to hire a person to design your website or select a company like Intuit to download the software to create a website. Consider choosing a one stop shop website builders like Homestead and Yahoo. Create your own website in minutes, or have the company web designer custom design your website for you. Look into free or low cost website builders like http://www.GoDaddy.com and http://www.VistaPrint.com if funds are tight, you want a basic template and less control over the look of the website.

Consider an online freelance website. Offer a freelance website builder the opportunity to bid on your project to custom design your website. Provide the details as to what you want included on your website such as colors, text, and images. Post your project on an online freelance site like http://www.freelancepulse.com. Wait for someone to bid on your project. Next choose the most attractive offer. You may be required to register with the site first or pay a small fee.

Get referrals. Speak with other business owners to find out which website builders are highly preferred. Check with members of your professional affiliation or business organization.

Gather resources for future reference. After the completion of your website, be aware of where to reference the FAQs section of your site provider. Ask your site creator where to find tutorials on maintaining your site and how to contact them in case you have further questions.

Charice McCray is a personal finance writer and small business owner in Pennsylvania. Her articles regularly appear on several online media publications. She has worked at several reputable financial organizations. A former registered investment representative, she loves educating people on personal finance and how to save money for children. Visit her blog at http://www.longgreenforkids.blogspot.com to get tips on budgeting and saving for children.

Having said goodbye to 2009 and the troubles it brought, it’s now time to face the New Year and strategize goals and visions for the year. Many faced lay-offs in 2009, some are still unemployed and even  more are being forced to re-evaluate their situations and skill-sets.

Instead of looking at such situations as the end of the world, look at them as an opportunity to grow and quite possibly become your own boss. Many people work mainly for the money (not that there’s anything wrong with that, after all, bills don’t pay themselves!) and are stuck year after year at jobs they dread going to every morning.

Being unhappy at the company you work for isn’t hurting anyone but yourself. If you’ve ever thought about working for yourself, setting your own hours and not having a cap on your income, 2010 could be the year that you seek to take that step of faith and work on building your business or brand.

Some might wonder what kind of business to go into and really at the end of the day, that is something that you have to sit with yourself and examine your interests. What are those things that you excel at, the things that would put a smile on your face Monday mornings, the thing that everyone always comes to you to help with, that even if you weren’t getting paid, you would still do. Everyone has a skill and you just have to find it and make it work for you.

This does not mean quitting your day job right away though. Make your hobby/passion a side hustle and when it begins to take off, you’ll know when it’s time to hand in your resignation letter. You might love cooking or baking, figure out how you can turn that into a business with a low-start up; basically, a business that you can run from home in the interim. Are you superb at organization? Consider becoming an event planner. No one can tell you what your passion is except you.

Figure out what this passion is, do your research on how to make it into a business (Google can be your best friend!), study the successes of those that have done it before and learn from their mistakes and take whatever classes you need to hone your craft. When you’re ready to launch, you’ll know and with a step of faith, take the plunge and work on building your brand. Enlist the help of friends and family to spread the word and eventually word of mouth in addition to advertisements will help you grow.

It is important to figure out your passion instead of going for a popular business venture, because at the end of the day, if it’s not something you’re really interested in, chances are you won’t see it all the way through simply because the commitment level is just not there.

If owning your own business has been a dream of yours, here’s to hoping it becomes a successful reality for you in 2010.

I spell shoe confidence S-E-X-Y! I know, I know, I love a beautiful shoe with a high - very high - heel. The details also make all the difference. Look at the entrance Alicia Keys makes with her blue shoes at the AMA's. 

Alicia Keys, photo courtesy of Getty Images

1. Seeing Red
A gorgeous red shoe is all you’ll need with jeans or a little black cocktail dress. Ava by Brian Atwood is just perfect. The peep toe, high heel  and color will make you stand out in a crowd. $496 at Bluefly.

2. Patent Pending
Patent leather isn’t just for little girls. This Juicy Couture hot fuchsia neon open toe 3.5 inch heel patent leather number named Emillia is hot! Available at Zappos at a discounted $156. This shoe is perfect with skinny jeans or a little black dress.

3. Black Power

You can rarely go wrong with black shoes. And if you are attending a formal occasion, an awesome pair of black evening shoes is just the ticket. How can you go wrong with these Guiseppe Zanotti Black super hot shoes that zip in up the back and are adorned with gold chain trim.  A mere $1050

4. Bring on the Bling.

Glitzy shoes make a spectacular entrance and enviable exit. Just imagine the heads that will turn when you strut your stuff in these bejeweled glittered Christian Louboutins. For all the bling factor with these shoes, let’s not forget that they are at the same time classic. Ten years from now, these very same shoes would make a grand entrance and exit all over again. And for the asking price, they better.  (If you watch ATL Housewives, you may recall Kim showing this shoe off!) $795

5. The Price is Right

Now if you just need a cute pair of shoes that you can throw in the closet and forget about as soon as the night is over, check out these sassy sandals from Payless. With the current look of the sandal/bootie, you can’t go wrong at $26.99  And who can't resist Jimmy Choo at H&M? Priced at a fraction of the high-end designer shoes, these gorgeous shoes are a STEAL!

Get your party shoes on. Go out there an intimidate!

No doubt you brought the year in with a bang, so why not go out with equal impact?

For the party girl who plans to get her groove on way past midnight, makeup longevity is vital.  Not only is long lasting makeup of importance important, but application is of prime importance too.

Everyone can start with the basics:

1.       Prep skin well with an oil free moisturizer. 

Try:   Rx for Brown Skin Bright Healthy Ultra-Gentle Moisturizer.

2.       Prime skin for long-wearing makeup. 

Use:   Vapour Organic Beauty Stratus Instant Skin Perfector

3.       Apply foundation for perfectly even skin.

• Keep it light, only applying to areas that need coverage -- under eyes, around nose and mouth. Feather out to cheeks.
• If you are oily, set with mattifying powder.
• Use:  Illamasqua Light Liquid Foundation.

4.        Highlight your skin with a shimmery blush.  Use: Bobbi Brown Bronze Shimmer Brick Compact

Put the emphasis on lips or eyes.

For eye drama:

1.        Use a two-step punch for dramatic eyes.  

•   First line top of lashes and inner rim with black waterproof eyeliner.
• Use Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Pencil in Zero. 
• Smudge into lash line. 
• Apply a shimmery metallic eye shadow from lash line to crease. 
• Try Black Radiance Black Radiance Mineral Shimmers Eye Shadow. 

2.        Finish with LOTS of waterproof mascara.  Try L’Oreal Voluminous Waterproof mascara.

3.       Apply  a nude lip gloss with slight shimmer.  Try Revlon 520 Unlimited Nectar Colorstay Mineral Lipgloss

For lip drama:

1.        Keep eyes simple and clean. 

• Apply a taupe or bronze shimmer shadow from lash line to crease.
• Use Smashbox Eyelights Palette in Smoke box.
• Apply taupe shimmer from lash to lid. 
• Apply ivory shimmer on brow bone.
• Smudge a thin line of black into lash line.
• No liner on lower lash line.
• Apply mascara.

2.       Make lips the focal point!  Use a bright long-wearing color.  Colors to try:

Clinique Long Last Soft Shine Lipstick Merlot

NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Dragon Girl (siren red) or Damned (magenta)

Rimmel Lasting Finish Lipstick in Alarm (red)

Milani Velvet Lips in Red Carpet (orange red)

CoverGirl Outlast All-Day Lipcolor in Natural Blush (wine)

Final tips for long lasting makeup:

• Set Eyebrows, eyeliner and lipcolor.  Try BeneFit She Laq. Makeup won’t bdge!
• Carry blotting papers for touch-up. Try Boscia Blotting Linens.

Go ahead girl and get your party on! 

- Alice Walker

"Life is short, and it's up to you to make it sweet. "

- Sadie Delany

"Service is the rent we pay for living. It is the very purpose of life and not something you do in your spare time."

- Marian Wright Edelman

"Remember, wherever you are and whatever you do, someone always sees you."

- Marian Anderson

"Bread cast upon the waters comes back one thousand fold. Give out good, and good comes back to you. Give out evil, and evil comes back to you. Everything that goes around, comes around."

- Margaret Burroughs

"There will come a time between 40 and 42 when you will really have tired of other people's stuff. You will get very clear about what it is you really want to do, and you won't care what other people think.... It's the realization that time is really all that you have, and when you reach 40, you win not be as willing to let other people use and abuse yours."

- Camille Cosby

]]>http://www.mahoganybutterfly.com/cms/templates/?z=0&a=3890 

It’s about that time. In about two weeks, we’ll be welcoming 2010, and you know what that means- time for New Year’s Resolutions. Of course, some people set goals for the new year and quit in two weeks, but hopefully these tips will help you set goals for next year and keep them!

• For starters, only set goals that you really want to achieve.
• Be specific about what you want to accomplish. For instance, if you want to save a certain amount per month, make the amount measurable. So, if your goal is to save money every month try saying, “I want to save $100 a month.”
• Use positive statements. Stating, “I’m not going to go over budget” won’t work because you’re concentrating on- and in turn, reinforcing- the negative. A better way to put it: “I will stay within my financial means.”
• Give your goals a deadline. Otherwise, you might be working towards something forever and never get there.
• Vow to reward yourself once you’ve reached a milestone, and do this throughout the process. For example, if your objective is to lose 50 pounds, each time you lose 10 pounds, you could reward yourself with a trip to get your nails done.
• Make them attainable. When setting a goal, be sure that it’s a challenge but not too hard to actually accomplish.
• Don’t make a goal based on your best performance. If, for some reason you lost 10 pounds in a week, don’t attempt to lose 40 for the whole month- it’s not very realistic, and you can’t expect yourself to give a top performance at all times.
• Break down your goals into pieces, and you’ll be more likely to reach them.

Now that you know how to set your goals, how do you get there?

1. Come up with strategies to help you get there. If you’re an aspiring writer, maybe one of your strategies could be writing 1,000 words per day. Strategies are your roadmap- they’ll show you how to reach your destination.

2. Next, write it down; this will help you remain focused. Also, be sure to read what you have written daily.

3. Let any and everyone that supports you know about your new aspirations. On the other hand, don’t talk about them or waste time talking with those who may discourage you.

The most important thing to remember: choose the right goals for you and live your own aspirations, not what other people want or expect from you.

This review contains a sample product sent at no cost for consideration by PR.

Yetunde Osakue-Allison, Senior Editor for MaBu, is an Afrocentric lady with various interests ranging from beauty to cooking and politics. If need be, she can be reached at yetunde@mahoganybutterfly.com

The Mosaic Bronzing Powders are multi-toned colors that finish like a powder and highlight like a blush. They create a natural, subtle application and contain a blend of vitamins to protect and condition the skin. High pigment levels ensure a long-lasting application without appearing ashy, and a triple-milled formula won’t grab or streak. As an added bonus, these Bronzing Powders contain oil blotters to control shine!

Lip Liner-Lacquer Duo is a unique lip duo with color-drenched lacquer in one side and an automatic lip definer in the other. Smooth and moisture rich formulas allow for easy application. It’s available in six unique colors for a different look every day!

Now that you have the look all you need is the attitude.

Mosaic Bronzing Powder: SRP $10.50

Mekhi Thira Phifer was born on December 29, 1974 in Harlem, NY. Many of us first remember "meeting" Mekhi in the 1995 Spike Lee film, "Clockers" or a couple years later in 1997 in the movie "Soul ood", where he played Byrd's (played by Nia Long) husband. Since then he is perhaps best known for his multi-year role as Dr. Greg Pratt on NBC's long-running medical drama ER.

Mekhu has a son Omikaye with his former wife, actress Malinda Williams. His second son, Mekhi Thira Phifer Jr., was born to his fiancee, Oni Souratha.]]>http://www.mahoganybutterfly.com/cms/templates/?z=0&a=3877Bohemian Chic, Teen Princess, Delicious Diva, Cosmopolitan Kitten and Domestic Queen in our gift guide.  Today it's the Corporate Multitasker!

The Corporate Multitasker-- Think Oprah Winfrey photo Getty Images

Makeup

Her makeup must make the grade as well and keep her looking fresh and polished all day.  Give her Illamasqua foundation and blush.  Illamasqua Rich Liquid Foundation provides maximum, long-lasting coverage without feeling or looking heavy.  It blends easily and hides problem areas perfectly. $30 Highly pigmented blush in Excite, a vibrant coral will complement her complexion and add just the perfect touch of color.  $23

Hair

Just like Oprah, the Multitasker Butterfly has impeccably coiffed hair.  Her precious locks only see the best hair products that provide more than one benefit.  Give her Phytospecific styling products, a French hair care line made for textured hair, that keep her tresses conditioned with natural plant extracts and oils. She will love Phytospecific Extreme Shine Spray -- a sheer styling aid for curly, frizzy and relaxed hair.  This spray enhances everyday styles and up-dos with long-lasting luminosity.  Karanja oil and chamomile create a sleek, brilliant finishing touch.  $26

Body

Just as the Multitasker keeps her facial skin in prime condition, she does the same with her body.  Keeping in line with her multitasking personality, give her the gift of body care that works overtime. Rx for Brown Skin Skin-Evening Body Butter does just that.  A rich and creamy body butter that brightens skin, provides deep moisture and leaves skin dewy and supple.  An exclusive brightening blend travels deep within skin surface to help repair and maintain natural skin tone.  $27

These suggestions should give you some new and different ideas for beauty gifts for the Multitasker on your list.  Check back in with us tomorrow as we finish out 7 day gift guide with our picks for best in beauty for your favorite Soccer Mom!

Your color pop may be a subtle as a bright lip color.  Try a vibrant pink or peach for change of pace.  Rihanna is picture perfect with her hot pink pout.

Try Shu Uemura Rouge Unlimited  Pink Collection in PK369, a hot opaque pink.

Opt for a hot dress in a hot color.  Check out Kerry Washington at the after party for the Broadway opening of "Race" at Redeye Grill on December 6, 2009 in New York City. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

Check out these options from Nordstrom.

Try some color on your nails!

And my favorite splash of color is for feet.

Linea Paolo

                                                         

Bourne Petunia

How do you plan to style yourself for holiday parties?  Share!

Beauty addicts often have a niche they fall into, be it foundation, lip glosses or lipsticks, mascara or blush and this season provides many sets to sample each niche almost in its entirety.

For the Lip Gloss Fiend on your list (even if that’s you!), I’d recommend the following from Sephora:

• Tarte Crown Jewels Lipgloss Multi-Gift Set—($165 value, now $39) This is a kit of three individual sets, each containing five glosses for a total of 15, so you can keep all or divide them up as separate gifts.
• Stila Lip Glaze Collection ($80 value now $25)The ever popular glazes from Stila, now in a limited edition collection of eight mini glazes for only $25.

• Smashbox WISH for the Perfect Pout ($96 value, now $29) With this you get 6 glosses (2 full size, 4 mini) and for every WISH purchase, $1 goes to Children’s Miracle Network, a non-profit that grants the wish of life to sick or injured children.

For the Fragrance Fiend on your list (I’m one!) I’d recommend the following, also from Sephora:

• Gucci by Gucci eau de toilette gift set ($89 value, now $69) Separately, the fragrance costs $65 and the lotion costs $48, so this is a good deal and I always get compliments anytime I wear this fragrance.

• Dolce & Gabbana The One Gift Set ($130 value, now $90) You get 3 items with this set; the fragrance, body lotion and shower gel. I simply love this fragrance and can never get enough of it, I’m always sniffing myself just to inhale its sexy aroma!

• Calvin Klein Coffret ($73 value, now $35) With this, you get 5 miniature fragrances which include Obsession, Secret Obession, Euphoria, Eternity and CK One. Of all five scents, Euphoria would have to be my favorite.

For the Nail Polish Fiend on your list, I’d recommend the following from Nordstrom and Sephora:

• NARS ‘Drop Dead Gorgeous’ Mini Nail Kit ($30) You get four mini shades with this kit and the colors should work for women of color.

• Lippman Collection ‘Celebrate’ Nail Lacquer Set ($35) You get 3 shades with this, two of which are quite glittery.

• Urban Decay Apocalyptic Nail Kit ($26) You get 7 mini bottles of various gorgeous shades.

For the Mascara Fiend, I’d recommend the following from Sephora:

• Sephora Lash Stash Mascara Deluxe Sampler ($109 value, now $39) Even if you’re not a mascara fiend, you get to sample ten different mascaras in smaller sizes and eventually you can purchase the full size after figuring out which you like best.

For the Eyeliner Fiend, I’d recommend the following from Sephora:

• Make Up Forever Aqua Eyes Collection Set ($35) When it comes to liners, MUFE and Urban Decay are on top. You get 5 travel size shades in this kit.

• Urban Decay 24/7 Set ($29) With this, you get 4 eyeliner shades and one glitter liquid liner.

• Korres Naturally Defined Eyes ($25) This is a brand that formulates their products with harsh chemical and is in essence a natural line. This set comes with 5 liners and one mascara.

For the Scented Body Product Fiend, I’d recommend the following from Saks Fifth Avenue and Sephora:

• Laura Mercier Crème Brulee Quad ($75) This product smells oh-so amazing and you get a body scrub, body crème, honey bath with dipper and a scented candle.

• Philosophy The Bake Shoppe ($22) You get two 4 oz shower gels, each with different scents, a scented lip shine and scented body lotion. If you’ve never tried Philosophy, their products smell really amazing and usually have recipes on the body of the product packaging.

•  Carol’s Daughter Almond Cookie Set ($37) This is a best selling item at Carols Daughter and is a favorite fragrance for most. This set comes with a cleansing gel, shea soufflé and an eau de toilette.

For your Brush Fiend, I’d recommend the following from Nordstrom:

• Smashbox WISH for the Perfect Tools Brush Set ($49) You get five purse sized brushes exclusive to this kit which includes an angled blush brush, blending brush, crease brush, angled liner and shadow liner brush. Even better, for every WISH collection purchase, $1 goes to the Children’s Miracle Network to help sick or injured children.

• Estee Lauder Holiday Brush Set ($45) You get four travel sized everyday brushes which include a foundation, blush, eye shadow and angled eye shadow brushes.

For your Eye Shadow Fiend, I’d recommend the following from Sephora:

• Smashbox WISH Eye Wish Palette ($44) You get 12 .6 oz eye shadows, a mini lid primer and 4 cream liners and every $1 purchased from the WISH Collection is donated to the Children’s Miracle Network for sick and injured children. Smashbox eye shadows are smooth and well pigmented.

• Too Faced Glamour Revolution Palette ($39.50) You get 9 eye shadows, 3 glosses, 1 blush, 1 bronzer and a mini shadow insurance.

• Urban Decay Book of Shadows Vol. II ($48) This comes with 16 .03 oz shades, 2 mini 24/7 liners and a mini primer potion. Very well worth the money as their shadows are intensely pigmented.

For the Newly Addicted, I’d recommend all-in-one beauty sets, similar to the following from Sephora (Ulta carries these too):

Sephora Ultimate Blockbuster ($48)

For the Foundation Fiend (like myself!) it’s hard to recommend sets because there are rarely any plus you have to figure out the person’s shade, skin type/undertones and foundation formulation they prefer. My recommendation for this would be to simply give them a gift card to their favorite make-up brand or if you know their preference you can buy them a back-up of their favorite foundation.

For the Beauty Addict in General, any combination of the afore-mentioned sets should work perfectly.

Yetunde Osakue-Allison, Senior Editor for MaBu, is an Afrocentric lady with various interests ranging from beauty to cooking and politics. If need be, she can be reached at yetunde@mahoganybutterfly.com

This is the perfect time of year to give a gift that will ease some of the stress associated with the holiday season for parents. Consider giving a gift certificate that would equal a contribution to a 529 college savings plan, or donate funds to a child’s investment or other savings vehicle. It not only alleviates some of the burden for the parent or guardian but also provides a foundation for the child’s educational future.

Many 529 programs offer gift certificates as ways for others to assist with the process of saving for someone else's children. These savings programs have become more attractive over the years because of the various tax benefits and savings available to the owners of these investments. The tax advantages include tax free growth on the earnings and federally tax free withdrawals used for qualified education expenses. There may also be a state income tax deduction available for you depending on the state in which you reside. To qualify for the state tax deduction all contributions for that tax year must typically be received by December 31st. One website that offers a great source of information on college savings programs is http://www.savingforcollege.com.

Minimum contribution amounts can be as low as $25. If you do not want to purchase gift certificates many 529 plan providers allow for third party contributions; You simply write the check payable to the plan. Although just about anyone may be able to make contributions, only the account owner can take the state income tax deduction; Check with the plan to be certain. Keep in mind that the funds that you invest in the 529 program are not guaranteed.

There are other savings programs available besides the 529 college savings plans. You can give the parent a check payable to the child. Parents can then open an account with their local bank or credit union in their child's name. This is a great way to teach children the value of money and the drive home the importance of saving early on and watching deposits accumulate over time.

Remember that there is no time like the present. You don't need thousands of dollars to build a nest egg for your little ones; It is also never too late to build one. Even if your children, nephews, or nieces are in high school keep in mind that they may be heading off to college or getting married and having their own children one day. A stash for their future endeavors can be a valuable resource when they really need it.

Charice McCray is a personal finance writer and small business owner in Pennsylvania. Her articles regularly appear on several online media publications, including Mahogany Butterfly. She has worked at a number of reputable financial organizations. A former registered investment representative, she loves educating people about their personal finances and how to save money for their children's future. Visit her blog at http://www.longgreenforkids.ning.com to get tips on saving money for children.

5 tips for dealing with Holiday Depression: 

• From the spirit realm: Know your loved ones are with you and you are not alone. 

• Your favorite things:  Find what brings joy into your life and try to do that every day. 

• The karma department:  Forgive yourself and others for any pain or wrong doing. 

• The bottom line: Remember the quality of your passage is up to you.  If you want to experience joy you must be joyful.  

• Laughter is the best medicine:  Practice the laugh out loud technique:  start laughing... and keep it going til you can't stop. It works! 

Sonja Grace offers her clients around the world, immediate stability, clarity, and guidance. As a medium and spiritual intuitive, her readings encompass past, present and future with an in depth look at inner child processing, past life patterning, karma clearing and healing in this world and the spirit world.  Her new book Angels in the 21^stCentury A New Perspective on Death and Dyingis available on her website: www.sonjagrace.com 

2. Delicious Diva – Think Kerry Washington

She does not follow trends, she sets them. She is the first out of the block with new styles. She is always at the hottest new restaurant and the hippest places to be seen. Her Blackberry contacts read like a PR of who’s who. The Trendsetter knows the best esthetician, hairdresser, and massage therapist in town. If there is a beauty product worth using, she already has it, so only the up-to-the-minute goodies will make the best gifts for her.

You will never see a Delicious Diva's hair out of place.  Even when it's  "mussed", it's purposely "mussed".  Give her the product that will keep her hair in place no matter what the style. Living Proof Straight Making No Frizz Styling Treatment for Thick to Coarse Hair -- a daily treatment for optimum frizz reduction and condition.

Living Proof Straight Making No Frizz Styling Treatment for Thick to Coarse Hair offers the first new anti-frizz technology in over 30 years. No Frizz addresses the two causes of frizz—humidity and friction. It provides a superior, extremely thin humidity barrier on hair while reducing surface friction. The result is the most effective, lightweight frizz fighter on the market today. Hair is left smooth and manageable without becoming greasy or heavy.

The Delicious Diva wouldn't be caught without deliciously smooth skin from head to toe.  Give her the gift of yummy skin without adding any calories.  Carol's Daughter Almond Cookie collection, endorsed by Mary J. herself, is a delectable choice. Give her An Almond Cookie Moment.

An Almond Cookie Moment is best experienced when layered—start with Almond Cookie Body Cleansing Gel that creates a rich lather as it gently cleans. Next, smooth-on the creamy Almond Cookie Shea Soufflé to moisturize and soften skin. Complete the layering with a light veil of fragrance from our purse-size Almond Cookie Eau de Toilette atomizer. It’s always sweet to give in to temptation.

So there you have it, some delicious beauty picks for the Delicious Diva on your shopping list.  Check back tomorrow for beauty shopping options for the Cosmopolitan Kitten!

]]>http://www.mahoganybutterfly.com/cms/templates/?z=0&a=3864Bohemian Chic Butterfly on your list; today it's the Teen Princess.

1. Teen Princess – Think Keke Palmer Photo courtesy of Getty Images

She is young and fabulous. When not on her cell phone or checking out My Space, she’s comparing notes with her friends about who’s hot and who’s not. The Teen Princess cannot live without lip gloss, hair gel and her iPod. When she is not studying for her SAT’s she is at the mall scoping out the latest trends. She lives girlie gifts and goodies that her friends will envy.

The advent of girls wearing makeup at an earlier and earlier age, makes proper skin care a priority.  Unfortunately, all to often, girls mask acne with more makeup, thus creating a vicious cycle with their skin.  Struggling with acne can lead to self-esteem issues, so give your Teen Princess the gift of good skin care.  Try Rx for Brown Skin Bright & Clear regimen. A $75 value, available for $55 at Sephora.

A skin-brightening kit designed for those with oily and acne-prone skin.
Sweep away excessive oil and residual impurities from pores and skin's surface with the Bright & Clear Starter Kit. Formulated especially for acne-prone skin, special ingredients help control acne blemishes, blackheads and whiteheads, and remove pore-clogging debris without drying or irritating brown skin. Additionally, an important layer of beneficial antioxidants help brighten skin and promote uniform skintone.
The four-piece set contains a 3 oz Bright & Clear Cleanser, 3 oz Bright & Clear Toner, 1 oz Bright & Clear Moisturizer, and a 1.5 oz Naturally Flawless Advanced Botanical Brightener.

With her skin bright and clear, she will most definitely want to check herself out in a jeweled compact mirror.  This adorable compacts by Sugarluxe are the perfect stocking stuffer.  $34

And of course, what Teen Princess isn't complete with our an hourly application of lipgloss?  Now that she has her perfect skin, and perfect mirror -- give her the perfect fun lipgloss that will not get lost in her purse.  Check out YOYO lipgloss! 

These adorable mini glosses are fun retractable lip glosses that you can clip on for easy access;  pull the cord and it extends 2  1/2 feet long, apply that delicious sparkle gloss and then back YOYO goes.  She can clip a YOYO Lip Gloss Mini to her  schoolbag, purse, jeans, belt or pocket. Holiday special of 4 for $10. 

We are sure that your Teen Princess Mahogany Butterfly will love any of these gifts!  Tomorrow check back for gift suggestions for the Delicious Diva!